Thursday, January 31, 2008

Quadruple Eek

Well, Skip's and my passport renewal applications went into a Fed Ex envelope at 9:45 this morning, and are now on their way to Gatineau Quebec. They should be arriving in under 24 hours.

They are also going on Every Last Prayer Chain I Know.


Because renewals (especially from the United States), can take approximately... SEVEN weeks to process.

Our tickets to France (via Amsterdam. boo yeah)...?

Seven weeks and ONE DAY from now.

Colour me anxious.

I spent much of yesterday on the phone. Is there a way to expedite the passports by paying extra? Why no, that would be bribery.

Is there a way to get a passport at a Canadian Consulate in the USA? Nope. All Canadian consulates suspended passport-issuing operations as of 9-11. Thank you SO much, Bin Laden. You're really cramping my holiday, here.

What does the High Commissioner say about my dilemma?

"Thankyou for calling the Canadian High Commission for San Francisco. You have reached bla-dee-bla-blah, deputy undersecretary to the assistant hoity-toity. Please leave a message after the tone.... BEEEP"

What does the Emergency Toll Free Direct Line for Canadians Abroad say?

"Wow, you're in a bind, eh. You know that Canadians living in the US really get the brunt of the ignoring when it comes to passport issues. It's like you're the red-headed step-child or something. You're pretty much out of luck, eh? I'd suggest flying to Canada and applying in person. But the wait at the Vancouver office is about a week and a half, and they won't mail something internationally, because that sounds suspicious..."

But Ken was talking to folks at work, many of whom are Canadian, and several of whom just renewed passports. While our mileage may vary, their turn-around time was 3-4 weeks.

Let's all pray, shall we?

The one bad thing about being in Passport Purgatory?

Everyone and their dog HAS A PASSPORT HORROR STORY.

It's like when you say you're pregnant, and then everyone goes into gory detail about their friend that got pregnant, and then had to be attached to an IV for her whole pregnancy so she wouldn't lose the baby, and then she got varicose veins that HUNG OUT HER VAGINA, and then when she went into labour, it was four days of back-to-back contractions, ALL OF IT was back labour, and then she pushed for EIGHTY-SEVEN HOURS, and the vacuum extractor broke off inside her, and the baby's head was the biggest the doctor had ever seen, and they had to use high forceps, and the epidural never worked, and the baby weighed TWELVE AND A HALF POUNDS.

Yeah, whatever.

*waves it away*

But, because I'm all anxious and stuff, I have a really sparkly-clean shower.

I wish I could clean when I'm *not* anxious. It'd be so much better for EVERYONE involved.

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