Il Neige

We are back.

I took just under 2000 photos.

(yes, with that many zeros)

But this is what is rolling around in my head:

As we were farting around in Aix-en-Provence yesterday morning, having our leisurely came-with-the-expensive-last-night-in-France-hotel-room breakfast, I became certain that we were NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE AIRPORT...

Then when we got on the motorway, and discovered rush-hour gridlock in the pouring rain, halfway to Marseille, I was certain that we were NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE AIRPORT...

When we got to the airport, the signs kept sending us through the boonies to the car rental returns, and I was certain that we were NEVER GOING TO MAKE OUR FLIGHT...

Then we got into the airport, and didn't know where to go, and then our flight number was on none of the Departure Boards, and I was certain that we were NEVER GOING TO GET HOME...

And then the flight to Amsterdam was delayed, and I was certain that we were NEVER GOING TO MAKE THE CONNECTION...

But I thought it'd be kind of fun and daring to leave the 'passengers with boarding passes only' security section and go BACK out into the Marseille airport to use up my Euro coins to buy postcards, and then had to come back through the security line (which had suddenly mushroomed from 2 people to 45 people) during the flight-delay window, and I had visions of my family getting on the plane, and ME BEING LEFT BEHIND IN FRANCE...

And then when we got to Amsterdam, where the plane lands way out on the tarmac, and you're BUSSED TO THE AIRPORT, and we're already 45 minutes late, and we have to go through Passport Control, and we have to be on a flight that started boarding while our flight from France was still over Copenhagen, I got a lovely sudden rush of squirty armpit stink, and thought "MY STINKY PITS WILL SET OFF THE SNIFFER DOGS!"

And then we had headwinds ALL THE WAY OVER NORTHERN CANADA, and were 40 minutes late landing in Minneapolis, and we STILL had to go through Customs and Immigration, and the lines were atrocious, and I thought "There is NO WAY WE'LL GET HOME WITH THESE LINES", and suddenly the stereotypical American Tourists came out in full force, butting their ways past us, saying "Sorry, but *I* have a plane to catch!" while they had 55 minutes to get to their flight, and we had 15 to get to ours, and Ken was ready to POUND someone, I thought "THIS CANNOT BE HOW IT ENDS"...

Then we went through the Customs Line (LONG), and the guy said "uh oh, you've been on a farm, you'll have to GO BACK through the Agriculture line, and then come back here to get out to your connecting flight", and Nate said "I'm hungry!" and I realized it was already midnight as far as the kids were concerned, and Kelly said "I have to go potty!" and the signs over EVERYTHING say "No restrooms in this area" I thought my eyes were going to roll back in my head from the stress. And then we ran, and ran, and ran, and ran through the Minneapolis Airport, because our connecting flight was about a zillion miles away, and the trams were out of order...

BECAUSE OF THE SNOW.

And it turns out that all the running we did really wasn't necessary, as Minneapolis-St. Paul airport was pretty much half shut-down because of the snow that had been falling All Day Long, and our flight that we rushed, and rushed, and had armpit-stink over, didn't get off the ground for nearly 2 more hours.

And we pulled into the driveway at 12:30am, only 23 hours after we left the beautiful south of France, and the only thing I could think was "I want my lovely bed"

And now it's 7:47am, but I really couldn't tell you what time it is. I think it's probably closer to noon, but I slept really well, so it's not really certain if I'm going to have jet lag or not. Skip was up at 4, and said he couldn't get back to sleep. But did he do his HOMEWORK? NooOOOoooo. So he will be staying home, with a very strict list of what he MUST do before lunch, when I hope to have him back in class. Kelly is still asleep. She seems to have the sleeping thing down pretty good. She slept a lot on the flight from Amsterdam to Minneapolis, and then all the kids slept most of the flight from MSP to SFO, which was another 4 hours, so I'm hoping that jet lag will be something we don't have to deal with too much this next week.

And now I will get laundry going, and then hop in the shower to do something about that residual armpit stink, which, incidentally, did not faze the sniffer dogs at all.

And then I will reward myself with showing y'all photos of the trip.

But not 2000.