Saturday, August 02, 2008

We know how to put the AWK in awkward

So right now, we've got a team of guys staying in our house. Four guys who are going to be running the San Francisco Marathon tomorrow morning.

They're getting up at 4am.

I will not be getting up at 4am.

But because they're crashing early, I've been relegated to the master bedroom, with the laptop actually inhabiting my lap. Ken is coming down with something, and has already fallen asleep. His throat is all scratchy, and his head hurts when he moves his eyes instead of his whole head to look at something.

There was just a knocking at the door. And a quiet "um, Kem..." from the hallway.

One of the marathoners. He'd just realized that none of them had brought a camera along, and was wondering if we had a spare digital camera they could borrow.

Now, ordinarily, this would be a no-brainer. Ken's got our old one (the behemoth that we thought was SO SMALL when we bought it years ago) in his office somewhere. And my old digital camera (the one I had before Ken bought me my magnificent midget Canon last year) now belongs to Kelly, and can often be found on the kitchen counter. So I said "let me get you my daughter's camera. It takes 1-meg photos and is a great camera, and quite tiny. I'm pretty sure it's on the kitchen counter.

So Jordie and I head downstairs (in the dark) to look on the kitchen counter. But Jason is already asleep in the family room, so I just open the oven, and take a look around in the semi-darkness. But Kelly's camera is nowhere to be found. Oh nuts. Did she take it with her to her sleepover? Oh, there's one more place it could be. In an ORGANIZED HOUSE, Kelly's camera would be in Kelly's room, so let's take a chance.

Well, Kevin was staying in Kelly's room, and there was still a sliver of light under the door. Kevin is the senior member of the team, probably a few years older than Ken and I. His children are grown ups. He's like an elder statesman. Very mature. Very wise. He's stayed with us as part of the marathon team for the last 4 years, and we really enjoy our time with him. I tell Jordie that Kelly's camera may be on her desk, so he knocks quietly on Kevin's door (which is slightly ajar), and when Kevin answers with a quiet 'yes?', Jordie pushes the door open.

And there is Kevin, standing in the middle of Kelly's room.


In the nude.


There was this moment of slow-motion terror, where everyone turns away with the speed of a viper striking.

And then we started laughing.

It was that "I'm so embarrassed that this happened" laugh, coupled with "The kids are sleeping, and we don't DARE wake them up" laugh, coupled with the "it's late, and how will we every explain this laugh", coupled with the "this is REALLY not all that funny, so it must be even MORE funny" laugh, coupled with the "I can't look you in the eye" laugh as we'd catch each others' eyes out in the hallway.

And the piece de resistance?

Kelly's camera was NOT there. I'm beginning to think that she may have taken it on her sleepover after all.

So I grabbed my own beloved camera, and wiped the memory card, and wrote up a little bit of "how to use it to its best advantage". I think it's the least I can do, after catching Kevin in such an awkward moment.

I left that note, with the camera, on the bathroom counter. There's no WAY I'm going by the mens' bedroom doors any more tonight.

I've had enough surprises.

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