Dudes, you think I'm all perky, but see these feathers? They're bolt upright because that's the way I say "FEAR!" You have no idea how scary that plastic tree is to me. And is it just me, or is that sock monkey ornament twitching, and trying to get me...? Eek! I must RUN AWAY!
Mirrors? Who puts mirrors on a tree? And what's that scary gold thing? And that red line! You can't land on it. It's just scary and distracting! I am full of FEAR!!!!... oh wait. Is this Ruby here with me? Ok, maybe it's not all that bad. If Ruby is here, it must be safe...
Ruby? Is that you? How can you STAND being near this scary thing???? You are my rock, honey pie. Here, come sit with me, and I will cluck to you and make everything all better.
I will be brave for you, Ruby! Even though that sock monkey is waving at me. I will be brave. Don't worry, Ruby...
Goodness Ruby, you are SO BRAVE! How can you be sitting in that scary creepy tree without having a heart attack. I'd better join you...
Merry Christmas, all my invisible internet friends. May your tree not be nearly as scary as this one. And may you have a warm and loving time with friends and family.
And don't forget to put out treats for my homeless friends who have to live in BIG SCARY TREES OUTSIDE.
Honestly, I don't know how they do it. They must have nerves of steel, those finches and sparrows.
It's ok, Ruby. I'm right here. I won't let the scary tree get you.
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